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Tom Dorrance used to say, “It’s what you learn after you know it all that really counts.”

Often when dealing with our own or another’s trauma, it is so very tempting to shift into “fixing” mode. This almost always includes shaming ourselves or others because we just want everything to be back to “normal”.

The reality is shame never heals. Compassion. Love. Empathy (not sympathy or pity). Patience and celebrating any small milestone or shift are the keys to a return to joy. It’s all we really have to give. And, we may discover a whole new “normal” on the other side of the journey.

See the above cheat sheet for yourself and those in your realm who suffer (which to some extent is everyone!).

For help and support in walking a healing path, please go to

Love, your sister along the journey, +k

Love, your sister along the journey,

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