Beauty and Terror

Healing should be quick, easy, and a one-and-done sort of thing, I tell myself. You know, sort of like just, “Let it be done unto me”, whispered in a spirit of prayer.

I cling to that belief, despite all contrary evidence, and often grow disheartened when it doesn’t happen when and how I want. Until I remember the young girl who spoke those words 2,000 years ago, “Let it be done unto me”, and I recall all the terror it caused her. Yes, of course, there was beauty, but even with all I have suffered in life, I cannot fathom the cost she paid for those wild moments of beauty.

Thanks to a highly intuitive, kind, and wise therapist, Beau Armistead, I am learning to accept his sage advice. “Healing is more like hiking the Appalachian Trail”, says Beau. You set your mind and feet in the direction toward the goal you desire, and dredge it like the journey to Golgotha.

“The trail is long, treacherous, and steeper than you ever imagined possible. No matter. You’re determined. But, suddenly, you find yourself walking sideways, and ultimately, exactly backwards—away from your goal, regardless of your grit and willpower.”

This, says Beau, is the way of healing and recovery of all that’s been lost. Accepting that sometimes the road is so steep and hard-going that owning our humanity may mean we must skittle this way and that, clambering to find our secure footing before we can broach the peak itself.

Let’s take it easy at times. Remembering no experience is ever wasted as long as we self-examine—with kindness—ourselves and integrate the lessons learned along the journey.

“Let everything happen to you

Beauty and terror

Just keep going

No feeling is ever final” ~ Rainer Maria Rilke

Love, your sister along the journey,

k